How to Make Good Decisions – Look at Death

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Let’s face it. We all make lousy decisions. Some are more costly than others. I would argue that the most costly decisions we make are not out of a lack of information or laziness but from a wrong view of death.

Death?

You might ask what death has to do with our decision making. How does one’s view of death influence the career choices one makes, the kinds of things one buys, the way one spends one’s time?

I would ask, “How is it NOT relevant?”

We are all, in this moment, inching closer to our death. It is a matter of fact. But we keep its reality at a distance. Too often we push the thought of death aside, not wanting to deal with its ugliness.

The Foolish Road

It’s much easier to busy ourselves with work and making money and filling our schedules with activities.

An unfortunate reality for many men is that work takes precedence over everything else. Many men work long hours and spend too much time away from their families. They quickly sacrifice family for money and a certain standard of living.

But money is never enough, and it is too easily spent, and we find ourselves working harder to make more.

Our family relationships are the sacrifices we place on the altar of career success and wealth. And the reality is that our relationships are skin deep, or frayed, or even nonexistent. 

Children are sent off to school to be taught and babysat by strangers for 6 to 8 hours a day, five days a week, for nine months out of the year, for 12 straight years, if you’re not counting preschool or kindergarten.

Then they’re sent off to college for another four years. 

The ugly truth is that many parents are relieved to be getting them out of the house. The relationships weren’t ever that close, the kids became rebellious in their teenage years, and an empty nest is a welcome change.

In the end, we grow old and die, soon to be forgotten, any evidence of our existence on earth vanishing with time. But the saddest part will not be that we’ll be forgotten by the world but that we’ll be forgotten by our own children because, honestly, they won’t really care.

If we don’t cultivate relationships that go deep, should we expect anything different?

This is poor decision making.

A Way Forward

So what is good decision making?

The way forward is to actually look at death. Don’t avoid it. Don’t sugarcoat it. Don’t minimize it.

Don’t desensitize yourself to the reality of its ugliness.

We are, as a people, prone to become desensitized, calloused to a great many things, even to things we should never become calloused to, the chief of which, is death.

Death, in this world, is the worst thing because it strips us away from the things we love most, or I should say, the things we should love most.

It strips a wife from her husband, an amputation of sorts, for they are one flesh.

It strips a father from his children, never to see them grow up, never to see his son grow into a man, never to walk his daughter down the aisle, never to enjoy his grandchildren.

It strips a child from his parent, having to live without the loving care of a mom or dad that every child needs and craves.

It strips a person from his career and the ability to make more money and enjoy more prestige.

Notice, one is not like the others. 

And juxtaposed with the others, its value, or lack thereof, is clearly seen.

Hear This

By looking at death squarely and seeing it for what it is, hopefully, we can see clearly just how short our time here on earth is and how precious our families are.

We can then start making our decisions accordingly.

Hint: It’ll probably mean less time working, more time with family.

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